Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
