I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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