I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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