My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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