3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
