You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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