ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
