just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
not ubering you a puppy
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
