as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
