Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
