I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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