I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
