Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
