Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
