I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
