Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
