very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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