i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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