ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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