Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
