wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
