was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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