He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
