The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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