She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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