pedialite and red bull = repair kit
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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