Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
