wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
