Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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