i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
me + whiskey = a bad person
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
