White coat. Heels.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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