Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
