I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
