and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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