who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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