she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
