hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
