THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
