I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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