I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
