Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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