Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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