Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
