don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
