i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
