She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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