susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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