I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
