grandma shit on top of the toilet
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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