At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
