Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
