I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
